Hey there – let’s catch up?
Okay, sounds good.
I was going to start this post with some long apology for not having posted anything for the past week and then it hit me: I am not actually sorry. So… why would I apologize? We’ll talk more about this in a minute but first…
I’m going to be real with you guys: I have been in such a weird space recently. And more specifically, the past week. Crazy mood swings. Questioning the purpose of life. Angry at absolutely nothing. And completely uncertain as to how to fix it. I had some serious jaw pain so some of this was pain-killer-induced and feeling a bit helpless. But still. It’s been a bit bumpy.
When I feel like this for days on end, I make a very conscious decision to change my influences. I turn off sappy music. No reality tv. And I forbid myself from asking Brandon for a hug. <— He knows when I’m feeling needy by how many hugs I ask for during any given day. 5 is normal. When I ask for 73 hugs in an hour and a half, I need to shake shit up. How do I do this, you may ask?
HOW TO: Get Out Of A Funk
I am a chronic apologizer. Because here’s how this works: you get in a funk, you stop returning texts, your emails pile up, the gym isn’t your friend. You get it- we’ve all been there. But the problem is: if this goes on for as much as a day, you’ve started digging yourself a hole that becomes harder and harder to get yourself out of. And then the guilt hits so all of the sudden you sound like this:
“I’m sorry I’m not being more helpful. I’m sorry I can’t make up my mind. I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you.” And on and on it goes.
But let’s stop that. Right. Now.
Your allowed to be in a funk. Not everything is rosy all the time. This is true for EVERY HUMAN ON THIS PLANET. So why are you apologizing for it? It’s supposed to happen. It’s a productive feeling. You grow. You learn. You reprioritize. In fact, what could be more important? We are no good to the people around us if we don’t let these periods of time change us. And in the process, it is okay to retreat. Did you hear me? It is OKAY, and probably the healthiest thing you can do, to retreat. So don’t apologize for it. Do what you need to.
BUT HOLD THE PHONE:
If you have something legit to apologize for, you obviously need to apologize. Being in a funk isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. For instance, if you start yelling at your adult-aged-soon-to-be step daughter for taking scissors out of your office, make sure to circle back around and cop to it. It’s never about the scissors…
Listen to an Audiobook
When I’m in a funk for more than a couple days, I turn on an audiobook. To know me is to know that I love the self-development section in any library. I’ve been this way since junior high. I will GEEK OUT on self help books because I crave the honesty. The beauty of self help books is that the author doesn’t know you. There’s no positioning. There’s no conflicts of interest. There’s no skirting around your feelings. If you choose them correctly, it’s one person sharing how they’ve been in your shoes, walked around for a bit, and can help guide you on your next steps. Notice – I said next steps. Not planning a marathon or teaching you how to walk in 4 inch stilettos. When you’re in a funk, oftentimes you just need help with what’s in front of you. It’s easy to start to feel like the whole world needs to be righted but it helps me to focus on what’s in front of me.
Do the Thing You Don’t Want to Do
This is the hard part. Normally, when I’m feeling down, the last thing I want to do it usually the first thing I need to do. The thing that I’m putting off will make all the difference once I start. Mel Robins is a freaking genius and if you haven’t read The 5 Second Rule, you need to. We’ve talked about this before: idle hands are the devil’s workshop. I’m never as unhappy as I am when I don’t have something productive to do. Something to create. Something to contribute to. We need movement and progress.
When we stop moving and start thinking, pontificating, worrying, or going through an existential crisis, things tend to get worse – not better. So keep moving. The simple act of acting can help fix your problem. Or it’s at least the start. But nothing good comes of inactivity and we can spend our whole lives avoiding the things that actually create the change that we’re worried will never come. Today, writing a blog post frankly is not what I want to be doing. But it’s what I need to do and I am certain I will be glad I did. It’s what I need. And it’s probably what you need, too.
To all my people out there, who get in funks and are just trying to figure out this thing called life: stay funky and keep on keeping on. You’ve got this. You’re not alone.
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